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It is with a heavy heart that i returned to Australia. Even now, being back for 3 weeks, i find myself day-dreaming - like re-running a favourite movie - and thinking of the different things that happened, and the different people i've met over the last 6 months...and my heart smiles.

As i had hoped, i think this trip has made me grow in so many ways that i've lost track. if anything, i feel like i've got a sense of perspective back, that was lacking there for a bit...and, its nice :) I've got to see how other people live, and listened to their worldview, and reassessed my own because of it :)...

It took something as dramatic and devestatingly soul crushing as the death of someone extremely important to me, to set the direction where I would like things to go, and to realise life's too short to just do what you *have* to do to get by...

when i was overseas, i felt this great and overwhelming sense of freedom...of self-expression...and just...of self. i didnt have to hide myself, didnt have to do anything extra to be accepted and to just, 'fit in' i guess... which is why that continent feels like home more than Australia ever has/ will. ...i could be invisible or NOT invisible if i wanted to...it was just...more comfortable and easy. i was free to be happy. i never ever feel like that here...unless im a bit tipsy...even then...im censored.

I think another pretty big change is, that, im more transparent about things - about me - now...i dont care if you like it or not, things are the way they are. I'm not going to document here in what ways and whatever, or what i mean by this statement...i dont feel i need to. What i know is that this trip has allowed me to take back my life, so, yay! :D...

So, here it is... im my mothers daughter (and im proud of that!), i come from the same school of thought/ way of going as my wonderful irish family...i dont understand how people can descriminate against another human being based on colour, creed or culture...understand LESS that so many people dont say anything and let it happen in their presence. Although government representatives most probably went into it with honourable intentions, before long, all governments tend towards corruption. i care about what is happening on the other side of the world, or to some stranger and want to help - even though it doesnt directly affect me. i like to think that i always keep my personal integrity and convictions. I have had something of a dark past, which has made me a stronger and a more compassionate person overall. every action i take stems from love. im creative and happiest when im free to be so. im generally impactical, but, pull it together when i have to. im most likely too honest sometimes. i value loyalty in a friend, lover and aquaintance above all else, because everything else comes from that. I fall in love with the flaws and ugliness in people, not the normal pretty shiny things that most girls fall for. im unashamedly friendly and heartfelt. i can be serious, but, i dont take life too seriously. im blessed and thankful to have the good fortune of being surrounded by quality people, who, for whatever reasons, care for me and try to protect me from the world, but, mostly from myself. i can be incredibly naiive...but, that does not make me stupid. I sometimes hate how the world works - i dont think its fair to judge someone based on the fact that they have facial piercings, tattoos and multi-coloured hair - but, the reality of it is, that people do...

I think that love is more than a feeling...its a verb, so, needs to be actioned...the verbalising of the feeling, whilst important, should come later rather than sooner - words are easy to say. I know how to, and can love someone - and do so with all of my heart and fibre of my being... but, they need to show me, not tell me they love me first, so i know that its real...and i dont see anything wrong with that.

i am capable and able to do anything i put my mind to - anything is possible - i just have to make sure to see it through to the end without being distracted! :D... in fact, i can do some things that most people CANT do, or have forgotten how to do! :)

Someone very wise told me once, that, you should throw out to the universe whatever it is that you want out of your life, and believe in it, and have faith in the thought of it happening... and the universe will deliver. And the more i think about that advice, the more i think its some very good and powerful advice that im going to follow...

So, even though I had to return under duress, ive returned excited, and enthusiastic to finish some of the things that i have already started, and invigorated and ecstatic and loony-tunes happy about my decided direction, safe in the knowledge that, everythings gonna be okay in the end :)  

Thanks for reading this thang, Lords and Ladies! :) Till the next adventure, peace out :) xxx <3

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